It's Such a Clever Innocence With Which You Do Your Sorcery

I went to a somewhat uptight high school, and my use of the adjective "somewhat" actually makes me a liar. In hindsight, I now see that many of my teachers, though well meaning, were actually quite angry and/or chronically depressed people.

During one chapel, the superintendent gave us a lecture on the long-lasting evils of sarcasm. Obviously, I took a lot away from that one. Another lecture was a metaphorical justification of their strict punishment system; it was something about how we are all sheep, and sometimes, shepherds need to break the legs of their sheep in order to teach them not to do something. I think I would have preferred that they would have just broken my legs, instead of messing with my mind and filling me with fear.

I ran for freshman vice-president the spring before I entered high school, but lost to a guy named Paul Williams. I was thrilled to find out later that most people had not known who to vote for, and had decided to vote for the guy, because he was a guy. I say "was a guy" because, frankly, I have not talked to him in a while. People change. Anyway, since I had not been elected to the Associated Student Body (ASB), I decided to start a Loser ASB. I typed up applications and passed them out to everyone else who had not won. In order to be inducted, they needed to answer important questions such as, "Are you a loser?" Somehow, the school office found a copy of the application and called me down to have a talk with me. They said that my new club would spread negativity. I was spreading negativity? They were the ones who threatened to break my legs.