Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Four Corner Shake-Up

I have returned from my pseudo-lesbian vacation to a Colorado dude ranch. Carrie and I had a great time, even if there were no dudes to pick up (with the exceptions of Jim, the old cowboy who has a daughter older than me, and Peter, who was my age but decidedly creepy and overeager.)One of the owners acted somewhat hostile to us, and as we thought it might have to do with our perceived yet untrue lesbianism, we attempted to set the record straight. Since flirting with a man in her presence was out of the question (her husband- off limits; Jim- unresponsive; Caleb- six years old; Peter- as previously mentioned, decidedly creepy and overeager), we looked for opportunities to mention past boyfriends. Unfortunately, the conversation never steared towards cocaine addiction or science camp, so our plan was unsuccessful.

She warmed up to us at the end. I don't know what brought the change of heart, but I don't care. I don't have to make you happy, Ellen! You don't own me! Please accept me!

The greatest part of the dude ranch was the three enormous meals that we ate daily. Carrie and I quickly became like Pavlov's dogs, racing towards the feeding trough the second we heard the beautiful meal signal, the triangle. That instrument will never be the same to me again.


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