Friday, February 03, 2006

People on their way to work; baby, what did you except

Last night, I dreamt that I had a large boyfriend from New Jersey. I have doubts as to whether I was actually the main character in the dream for two reasons: 1) I have yet to be attracted to anyone from New Jersey (my apologies) and 2) he accused me of not hugging and kissing him enough, although I think that I am prone to being overly affectionate.

Anyway, large New Jersey boyfriend and I are driving to visit his family. In my head, I think that this is a pretty bad idea because I know that we are going to break up soon, and I do not see the point of forming any attachments with his family. It should also be noted that the New Jersey highway looks a lot of like a stretch of Trabuco Street in south Orange County, and the New Jersey landscape looks suspiciously like Colorado.

As we are driving, large New Jersey boyfriend says that he is not getting enough physical affection. I say, "well, I am not going to have sex with you." And he responds that I could at least hug and kiss him more, and I need to kiss him right then. I say that I find this to be a poor idea since he is driving, and he says that he is a very good driver. We compromise with a kiss at a stoplight (on the highway?)
I'm really glad we broke up. He didn't get me at all.

I am making a conscious effort to continue dressing as if I live in New York. Upon my arrival, my brother-in-law requested that I not succumb to the Santa Fe style of dressing, which is basically an excuse for New York and LA retirees to live out their Frontierland fantasies. The dress code involves a lot of fur, turquoise and draping, Native American fabrics. I know what you're thinking, "Leighton, you would look so good in that!" Thank you, I know. But I just can't do it.

Having been here for almost a week, it is time for me to begin the process of making friends. Moving to New York taught me that initiating friendships is exactly like dating. I have to have an awkward phone conversation where we figure out what movie to see and where to meet, and then when we meet up we ask each other interview questions about family and likes and dislikes. And then I try to hold her hand at the movie and my hand gets sort of sweaty. It's exhausting, really.

I don't know who to be friends with here, and I don't understand their outdoorsy nerd speak. I don't have anything to say about free climbing, unless I revert to my anecdote about the time I went bouldering and severely bruised my ass. But I don't know; ass bruises sort of seem like a topic of conversation for close friends.

I guess I'll keep you posted on my progress. At least I have Gypsy, Meghan and Ronnie's geriatric cat that insists on hugging my neck at all times of the day. Her last owners neglected her, so she is an interesting combination of lavish affection and latent rage.


Anonymous kristina said...

Hey Leighton! Remember OUR first date at California Pizza kitchen?? I think we got spinach dip :)

7:22 AM  
Anonymous Randi, Aviva, Whatever... said...

Lato! I don't remember our first date, but our last was GREAT! Yay for wine and velvet seats. Although I do feel a little jipped (gypped? gipped?)... you never held MY hand. p.s. - So happy to hear (read) your voice.

10:52 AM  
Blogger they call me the R said...

did you get stuck in tunnel traffic and forget to roll your windows up prior to your dream? that would make sense.

1:05 PM  

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