Thursday, July 14, 2005

Operation Sanity Retention

Congratulate me folks, I didn't quit today, or yesterday, despite spending the whole day thinking about it. However, I did clean up my cubicle, which had a two-fold purpose. 1) I feel more relaxed with fewer papers around. 2) If for some reason I stopped coming in, people could easily find the things they were looking for.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Water Cooler Memoirs: Issue 2

One of my company's bragging points is their encouragement of hobbies.When hired, you are told about the company founder's love of art, as is proved by his sculptures and photographs decorating the office. In view of this touted value of high quality of life outside of work, I find my life inside of work glaringly inconsistent, even aside from the long hours and low wage.

1) Lack of climate control. I find it difficult to concentrate when I am sweating through a thin shirt or when my fingernails turn purple from cold. I should not have to wear a winter coat when checking my emails, nor should my face become flushed when I remain seated. While you think I am exaggerating, one of my coworkers asked if there was away that her vent could be shut off because she was so cold (and she is from Sweden.) Because there is no way for them to control the temperature, the maintenance crew solved the problem by stuffing an American flag beach towel up the vent. Safe and effective.

2) Work day maintenance. Why was the maintenance crew there to stuff the towel into the vent? Because they work the normal 9 to 5 likeI supposedly do. Why pay the staff overtime when they can perform their duties during the normal work week? Last Thursday, they repainted all of the walls. This was a fantastic idea as there are no windows to open and air out the hallways. It is also fun when your sleeve grazes the wet wall while you are walking by. Paint fumes (and headaches) are conducive to working, just like the drilling provides a professional atmosphere for conference calls and tearing up the carpet is convenient when I am trying to get to the printer.

3) Rude receptionists. I love being put on hold while a clearly annoyed woman hassles herself by scheduling a conference room for me.You would think I was asking to hold the conference call in herbedroom. I can only imagine what it does for new business when potential clients reach a woman who is extremely put out at having to transfer them.

4) Lunch breaks. I scheduled a podiatrist appointment during my lunch break a few Fridays ago, and made the mistake of alerting my coworkers about it in an email. I received a quick response, "Did you check this with anyone?" No, I had not. I figured that since it was my lunch break and my podiatrist appointment, I didn't need permission. Iwas wrong. I am supposed to run it by everyone when I schedule anysort of appointment. Nothing that I do is important until I try to leave the confines of the office, when suddenly it is imperative that I be reachable by cell phone and/or email.

Yesterday, I went to another podiatrist appointment. I left my desk at11:45am and returned by 12:30pm, and I only told my friend, Randi,that I was leaving. I do not think that I should have to get a hallpass to go pick up my orthotics. I know; it's frighteningly rebellious, but I am working on cutting down the number of people who intimidate me. At my office, I am down to five. I thought that I was going to be able to remove one member from the list when I saw her awkwardly dancing at the company Christmas party, but then she got madat me for asking her a question, and I could not truthfully delete her. This is so fun.