Wednesday, June 30, 2004

day three- the orange blanket descends

i have found a solution to the malaise of being back in orange county- don't leave the house. i don't see much orange county in my family, so i will surround myself with them until we have a huge falling out and i resort to living on the house boat docked in our lap pool.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

day two- return to orange county

i moved out today. went ten minutes, realized i had left my faithful glutton, a fancy goldfish named gil, at home and had to go back and get him. starting to feel summer guilt descend, where i have a list of things to do but cannot for the life of me get off of the large striped couch in the room where my body lives and my creativity dies. don't worry, in a few weeks i will have forgotten that i had a list.
i had a huge epiphany yesterday. why are my sister, brother and i confused about who we are and what we want to do with our lives? why the intense struggle? let us examine my parents. the Harvard business major married the hippy violinist studying in New York City. suddenly, every inner battle makes sense. what a lense this idea has provided. this explains why i want to wear a fitted pinstripe suit and get my eyebrow pierced, and why i listen to my IPOD during the day and my record player at night. i will never fit in the business world, and i will never fit in the artist community, because neither will get my 100%. it all makes sense! long live the Davis's! may we create our own community where math dork and tortured artist live in harmony, and where i can get some sleep!

Monday, June 28, 2004

day one- my blog is created

well this is very exciting, isn't it. the first day of my blog. i hope that forcing myself to write will keep me alive as i plunge into the 9 to 5, a world i hope does not become the 8 to 8, how will i tell my boss no?

i graduated last week from ucla. i am running on very little sleep, and the adrenaline keeping my alive has started to wear off as i have to begin packing and say good-bye to good friends and the academic life that has kept me so safe and so happy and so paniced. i expect that next year i will forget that school ever made me paniced, and i will completely romanticize it, picturing myself with hours and hours of free time, time that actually went to worrying about what needed to be done next for school.

tomorrow i move home, but as i do not have a bedroom there any longer, i am moving temporarily into a closet, a little place i like to call the womb because there is no outlet for me to plug in an alarm clock, and my family forgets about me and i sleep in complete darkness until late in the afternoon, when i stagger downstairs and plan the final three hours of my day.

welcome to my life, please stop for a while.