Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Do You Hear, Do You Hear The Thunder?

My office, the endless black nightmare I will henceforth refer to as "work," has a very difficult time regulating the temperature. The only system I have been able to decipher is that they follow the outside temperature changes. For example, last week, the outside temperatures dropped. Inside temperatures plummeted so as not to be left out, and I got to drape my coat over my shoulders while I sat at my computer. The outside weather got warmer yesterday, and today it is about one hundred degrees in here. I want to sit next to the water cooler, put my head under the nozzle and start singing drunken pirate songs.

I have to get through 16 more days of work before I get to fly back to California for Christmas vacation. I need to break it down in the most mentally helpful way. I think I will look at it as eight groups of two days. As of Thursday night, I will only have seven more groups of two days. And, assuming I am not feeling very well on Friday and call in sick, that gets me into next week pretty easily.

I think I am carb loading out of depression. For lunch, I had bread, cornbread and mashed potatos. My mood improved for a few minutes, but then for some strange reason it took a nosedive. A coworker made a comment about something called a sugar high, but I didn't hear the full explanation before I socked her in the face and threw her into a vending machine.

I am writing a press release right now. Well, not right now. But I do maximize the press release window whenever I hear footsteps behind me. Right now, my cheeks are turning pink, and I am about to sweat through my sweater. The hell references are rolling off my tongue, but I will have to keep them to myself. I hear that the Christmas bonuses are docked every time an audible laugh floats down the hallways.

Yesterday, I got to go out to New Jersey again for another document review. I had to give my copies of the documents to two of the representatives who had not brought their own, so suddenly I didn't have to do my one job of taking notes. It was awesome. The man who said "in toto" last week didn't have any gems for me this time, but I did get to see him shoot a lot of other people down. On the car ride back to the city, I fell asleep and started drooling. And that, my friends, is what professional looks like.


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