Sunday, June 25, 2006

Trouble at Home

I try to hold 6-month reviews for all of my electronics. You know, I sit down with them and discuss past performance, motivation levels, areas for improvement, opportunities for advancement, etc. Yesterday's meeting with my alarm clock was eye-opening. He said that he will either work mornings or evenings, but not both. This explained why he has failed to wake me up from a number of early-evening naps.

I tried to negotiate. I said we would do two wake ups a day, only one snooze apiece, but he would not hear of it. He said that my early-evening naps were "impinging on his social life." And then he called me lazy. I said, "Listen Franklin, I am a night owl who happens to work very early mornings, and I don't have to defend myself to a $20 alarm clock."

I would love to fire him, but it is difficult to find a clock radio with indiscreet, green numbers, and he knows what this bargaining tool is worth. In the end, I promised to dust him more, and he said that, if he's around, he will try to wake me up from my early-evening naps, assuming I get right out of bed. It's an employee market these days, and if I don't keep him happy, he will walk.

Unfortunately, Franklin is actually the least of my worries. I think my iPod, cell phone and digital recorder are in talks to unionize.


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