Lefthanded-Rightminded

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Let's Go Out to the Movies, and Get Ourselves a Snack

Meghan, Ronnie and I have begun sneaking food and drinks into movies. The first time, we brought beer, saltines, baby carrots, and dark chocolate. The next time, we brought more beer, Goldfish crackers, and Little Debby snack cakes, which were a big hit. This last time, we decided to really up the ante. Beer, of course, large bottles of sparkling water, popcorn, bread, salad, and seafood stew. Though fantastic food choices, we hadn’t thought this whole thing out very well. When sneaking food into a movie, it’s really important to keep your movie choice in mind. Is it a comedy? Feel free to bring champagne. You can open it when people are laughing. However, seafood stew in a heartbreaking drama about the living conditions of Hindu widows, all done in sub-titles, was not smart. It was a tiny theater, and everyone could smell the cioppino fish soup within minutes. Plus, everyone could hear the beer opening, and everyone could smell the vinegar of the salad dressing.

Though inappropriate, nothing will top the time my sister and brother-in-law went to go see The Passion of the Christ with a large group of people that they knew. Ronnie had not eaten beforehand, so he got a large popcorn and large Icee to eat and drink during the previews…except that for the first time in history, there were no previews. So there was Ronnie, crunching his popcorn and slurping his Icee while Jesus was tempted and harassed in the Garden of Gethsemane.

3 Comments:

Blogger Souvenirs From Our Trip to Hell said...

Y'all sound like awesome movie-goers, and good concealers too. I tried to take a salad into The Goblet of Fire last year, and they kicked me out.

To eliminate the noise of opening the bottle, have you ever considered bringing your beer in a Beer Belly (www.thebeerbelly.com)?

6:52 AM  
Blogger mathew said...

i know that it's your ticket, your food, you can do what you want, but please don't bring smelly (read: usually warm) food or loud food (um... pop rocks?) into a movie theather.

you might as well bring a boombox, a friend's 3 month old baby, your dog and make sure you're talking on your cellphone while you're at it because people are going to hate you just the same.

(what kind of beer? also, cans or bottle?)

8:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I’m not above tucking a burger or two into my pants’ waistband—Beretta-style—and enjoying, say, “The Prince and Me” (who doesn’t like Julia Stiles?) alone on a Tuesday afternoon. I even managed an entire sub sandwich (yes, 12”) during my lonely community college days (you could afford 7 “Fight Club” viewings for the price of one at this crappy, suburb discount cinema…I took all 7).

But it sounds like you guys have me beat—what’s your secret? Over-sized purses? Special-order KangaROOS shoes (look it up: I got a pair and can barely fit in a buck and change)?

~Dan

10:16 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home