Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Isn't the World a Lovely Place

I speed to work three mornings a week, knowing that I will inevitably be four minutes late. Living in the country, as I do, there is the constant problem of squirrels and baby bunnies racing across the street in front of, or under, my lightning-quick car. I feel this is an unnecessarily frantic way to begin my day, and this makes me mad at the squirrels and baby bunnies. I live on a dirt road, there is very little traffic, and they could save everyone a lot of panic by simply waiting to run across the road until I have passed.

With the exception of egos and my bowling record, I do not like killing things. However, if I do run over one of these creatures (and hopefully kill it, as I would prefer to not have to continue backing up over it until it has been put out of its misery), it would be the perfect example of a lose-lose-lose situation. Lose- the little animal loses its life. Lose- its family members mourn the loss and run out into the street to take care of arrangements, risking the loss of their own lives. Loss- I am left feeling guilty, angry, confused, hopeless, and emotionally worn.

Seeing a delicate, little piece of roadkill the other day got my thinking: this scenario could be worse. Instead of squirrels and baby bunnies, what if My Little Ponies were running everywhere? At first, it sounds great. Nothing is cuter than tiny, pastel ponies running around in the grass, stealing strawberries from picnic baskets, and nuzzling babies.

The downside: I cannot imagine how I would feel if my day started with the unnecessary death of a little lavendar pony, with long eyelashes, silky hair, and something cute and friendly to say. As it snorted its last little breath, its head in my lap, it would ask me to give its hair brush to its family. Even though the My Little Pony never should have run under my wheels, it would still be my fault. There would be no rainbows that day, and some sort of monster and/or toy store employee would probably come break my tiara.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You shouldn't talk. You have never totalled your dad's car by stopping for a baby bunny and subsequently being rear-ended, on his birthday no less. Haley better be damn thankful for that ice cream run. It cost me two years of chiropractic therapy.

12:37 AM  
Blogger Leighton said...

True, but you enjoyed your chiropractor visits. You got to lay on the rolly bed and talk to Dr. Noel.

4:54 PM  
Blogger Grass said...

First thing in the morning might be a bad time but a My Little Pony road warrior killing spree sounds like a pretty fantastic way to end a crap day. Or maybe I wasn't hugged enough as a child.

4:19 AM  
Blogger Grass said...

Oh yeah, kick arse profile pic too btw.

4:20 AM  

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