Friday, July 13, 2007

Endangered Leightons

My Chinese teacher gave our class a short lecture on Wednesday night regarding the consequences of allowing all of the world's pandas to die off. She listed zero consequences and did not mention a single thing that I could do to prevent the death of pandas. She also failed to realize that the World Famous San Diego Zoo would not, and will not, ever allow the pandas to fully die off. Their mission is to keep endangered species alive: the panda, the Harpy eagle, the churro.

I believe the threat of panda extinction has been eliminated, but what about the extinction of tall white women? I haven't seen any fund raisers aimed at protecting my endangered species. Most tall white women do not face danger in the safety of their natural habitats, mainly their high-ceilinged homes or the volleyball court. However, once in a public setting, they are scrutinized for their social habits. While a short white woman who chooses not to talk will be labeled as shy, a tall white woman who chooses not to talk will be labeled as your standard, prideful American bitch.

My teacher and classmates in Chinese 1B seem especially threatened by my tall whiteness. I hear the laughter when I read out loud, and I see the question in their eyes- "Why is she here?" I am treated as if it is personally my fault that the Chinese government is making Beijing taxi drivers learn English before the Olympics or that a cup of Shanghai Starbucks coffee costs the equivalent of a laborer's weekly wages.

Poor tall white women. We never get a break.


Blogger Aaron said...

What?! The churro is endangered? And nobody told me? I can't decide what to do - run out and eat one so I can experience it one last time before it dies, or vow to never eat one again until the professional churrologists can bring them back to a self-sustaining level like the eaglologists did with the bald eagle.

6:44 AM  
Blogger Brian said...

how tall are you?

2:34 PM  
Blogger Leighton said...

I am considered short in New York and tall everywhere else.

3:40 PM  
Blogger they call me the R said...

correction, nyc does not consider you 'short' but your height limits you to print campaigns and men with a net worth of less than $100m.

7:04 PM  

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