Literate children, avert your eyes

Up to this point, I have kept my blog clean. However, lately I have been getting tired of New York City and I hit a breaking point a few nights ago. I was on my cell phone with my mom on Sunday night, having a lovely conversation about llamas, Jenga and latent family anger. Suddenly, I see movement on the urine-cultivated lawn. Is it two gophers scampering across the lawn? Nope, it is two enormous rats chasing each other. I watched them for a few minutes as they ran back and forth. The rats were happy, and this in turn made me happy. I was experiencing nature! The fence around the lawn gave me the sense that I was at a San Diego Zoo in my favorite section, the rodent exhibit on the way to the petting zoo. I lost interest and turned my attention back to the topic of how violin lessons play into a person's self worth. My rats friends caught my eye once more. Are they fighting? No, they are humping. They keep humping. One huge rat is pressed onto the other huge rat in hopes of producing huge ass rat babies. I have had a lot of pets in my day and am not disturbed by much, but I came close to throwing up. Yet I couldn't stop watching. I don't know what I was punishing myself for, but obviously something...

In other news, I moved to Spanish Harlem and they have not accepted me. They do things to purposely get me down, like closing the grocery stores before 10pm and drawing me into Burger King. I wonder if I will ever assimilate; there is no way it should take longer than two weeks.