Titles are a lot of pressure

Blogspot posed me a question to answer while I was updating my profile today, and I did not have enough room to answer it, so I will do it here. The question is: Which do you prefer and why: whittling with soap or whistling with wood?
My thoughts: I believe the question should read "whittling with wood," but no matter, I will answer it as written. Although I have never whistled with wood, I have a hard enough time whistling on my own, so I am going to say that I would rather whittle soap. If the wood was shaped into a large train whistle then I might change my mind, but let's be realistic here. I enjoy whittling soap, and I do not enjoy whittling wood because I suck at it. When would you have time for this, you might ask? When you are in Colorado and just finished playing Tetris 2 and are waiting for the afternoon to cool off so that you can go play badminton (or as my grandparents call it, goodminton.)
I found a place to live!! I move in on Sunday. Yesterday I saw a taping of Late Night with Conan O'Brien, and although the guests were terrible, the comedian at the end was hilarious. He was a mix of Wesley Willis and Johnny Depp. He made jokes like," I wish they would make Fajita Cologne, because man those things smell good." End of joke. Then he said that he likes cottage cheese so much that it makes him want to try other dwelling cheeses, like high-rise cheese and, if he is feeling brave, motor home cheese. Finally, he said that belts hold your pants up, but belt loops hold the belt on. "What's going on down there? Who's the real hero?"
I am sure this is not funny in writing. Leave me alone.
To state the obvious, there are so many people in Manhattan. So many. And most of them walk too slowly.