Lefthanded-Rightminded

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

I Just Want to Help

Alright, I am getting tired of answering this question, so I am just going to post my answer.

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Dear Leighton, How can I catch a nasty case of bed bugs?

Sincerely, Hopeful in Lake Forest

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Dear Hopeful in Lake Forest,

Catching a good case of bed bugs is dependent upon finding an extremely dirty, second-hand (or hopefully third or fourth-hand!) mattress.

The first step to solving your dilemma is going to involve another question: The term nasty is a bit vague; how bad of a case do you want? Do you want minor discomfort that can quickly be solved by wrapping your mattress in plastic until the bed bugs suffocate, or do you want a raging case that can only be taken care of by burning your mattress and every belonging that was in a three feet radius of the bed? Both scenarios are going to require patience as you wait to find or inherit a really dirty mattress. However, I won't mince words here. If you want a raging case, it will probably take months to find a fully infected mattress. Searching Craig's List is not going to produce what you are looking for; I recommend driving around college neighborhoods at the end of a semester and/or combing through dumpsters. I'm not saying it's impossible. You are just going to have to commit.

I hope this helps. Good luck on your endeavor!

Best,

Leighton Davis

2 Comments:

Blogger Dan said...

Yikes. Just...yikes.

3:21 PM  
Anonymous donger said...

are they easily domesticated?
i am looking for new exotic pets but space is limited.
but a case of bed bugs sounds fantastic. think of all the names i can give the little fellas!

11:58 PM  

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