That I May Save You Time and Pain...

Choosing an esthetician:
Before paying money to make yourself physically vulnerable, gain the reasonable assurance, through interviews or trusted recommendations, that your future esthetician is knowledgeable, seasoned, and human. (Probably a lesson that could have been learned and applied from the masseuse incident, see "Spa Night," July 14, 2006.)

My first esthetician lesson was learned at the hands of "I'm the best waxer around," aka Kelly. Self-aggrandizing testimonials should not be trusted, regardless of how many different ways Kelly described her talent or how many business cards Kelly gave me. As someone with an above-average pain tolerance, I just should not have gotten the pain shakes during a lower leg wax. Shins, a purely functional part of the body, have very few nerves. Something is going terribly wrong if my shin pain is eliciting flashbacks from a dark period of my life known as "Braces in College, 2000-2002."

I threw all of Kelly's shiny business cards away and never looked back, except when I get a pedicure from her.

My second esthetician lesson was learned when I received a facial last Tuesday from "you should feel really condemned about the state of your skin," aka Sandy. I never should have bought into the apparently-legitimate setting. The dim lights, steam, and scent of cucumber lulled me into a false sense of safety that made me forget any concerns I had, such as "why is this free?" and "why do I have to take all of my clothes off to get my face cleaned?" and "why does it feel like someone is clawing my face off?"

Since then, based on a friend's recommendation, I have switched to Cami. She appears to possess concepts of pain AND propriety, so I think we may be onto something. Here's hoping that she also turns out to be a hairdresser, accountant and podiatrist, so that all of my searching can be done.