Monday, September 26, 2005

You'll go forward again...

Something about my job makes me want to listen to the same songs over and over again. There was about a three week period where all I wanted to listen to was Kelly Clarkson's "Breakaway." This was followed by Gladys Knight's "Midnight Train to Georgia" and David Gray's "The One I Love." Now I listen to Coldplay's X&Y album religiously. Normally I would be alarmed by this repetition, but it seems to fit. In essence, I have lived the same day for the last year.

I come into the office and wash my hands in the kitchen sink. I sit down at my desk and turn on my monitor. I check my email and then go to Google News so that I can begin the morning media monitoring report. Once sent out, I put on some office-appropriate shoes.

I attend a meeting here, a meeting there. Sometimes I eat white beans for lunch instead of black. To my left is a stack of yellow Post-Its, my stapler and my phone. To my right, an oversized calculator, my yellow legal where I keep track of what I have done with my time and my white legal pad where I list my to-dos. Sometimes I head to the third floor small conference room where I celebrate someone's birthday by replacing the stressed out boredom in my brain with enough refined sugar for two and a half people. The day ends, and I put my sneakers back on.

There is supposedly a hormone that kicks in after a woman has had a baby that makes her forget all of the pain. This hormone is the only reason that anyone has more than one child. It is also the reason that I show up here every morning. I think this hormones is activated when I leave my office, because suddenly work doesn't seem bad at all, and I do not even mind coming back the next morning.

I am glad I want to keep coming back. I am here for the people; I love them. My job is healthcare public relations, but my profession is entertainer. All I want to do is make everyone laugh. It is a shame when my tasks get in the way of this.

On a separate note, I have made a decision about whether or not to leave New York City. I have been struggling with this choice because in eight days I will have been here for a year, the amount of time that I planned on spending here. I do not love New York City. I respect it and admire it, but I do not love it. As with work, I am here for the people. I get to spend time with some of the greatest people I have ever met. Manhattan is completely irrelevant. We could have the same level of enjoyment if we were at a gas station in Nevada (no offense Nevada- what what.) So, am I leaving New york? Yes. When? Not yet. That is the messgae I keep getting. Don't leave yet. Stay put. Enjoy yourself. Stop worrying about whether or not you are wasting time and just relax.

Will do.


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