Old People Orchestra, Part 2
I expected that old people orchestra would be rife with humor, and it has not disappointed. Tonight, after our ten minute break that actually lasted 22 minutes, we sang/played Happy Birthday to one of the violinists who turned 97 last Thursday. She stood up and said that this birthday marked 27 years of playing with this symphony. Another violinist then hollered, "Here's to another 27 years!" Everyone in the room half-smiled but no one made any noise of agreement or approval, probably because the look on the birthday girl's face clearly stated that she doesn't want another 27 years. It was an uncomfortable moment for everyone involved.
We are ten days away from our concert, although it is going to be difficult for me to advertise considering the old people stole all of the fliers on the refreshments table tonight. I watched a man stuff a stack of fliers into his brief case. Now, instead of handing out typed directions, I have to tell people that the concert will take place in Clubhouse 3, directly behind the mortuary.
Our conductor told us last week that tickets will cost five dollars. A general grumbling ensued, broken only by a voice from the horns section that yelled, "They were four dollars last year!" The conductor, obviously surprised, said that if the dollar would keep people from coming then we were welcome to take a few more comp tickets. I do not think the extra dollar is going to keep our audience away. I think the number of pieces we are performing will keep our audience away. It's too much music, and it's as if the conductor has no concept of how quickly old men fall asleep. My grandpa once secured us onstage seats at an American String Quartet master class, where he promptly fell asleep. I expect this phenomenon on a grand scale next week, replete with snoring, drooling, bobbing heads, and dropped belongings.